Beloved

I walked with music in my ears this morning. I like it but I miss things. I am one step removed. I don’t hear the students’ chatter. There is a wall of glass between us. I thought it might help, fox my mind a little. It didn’t, not really. I had on shuffle. Kate Bush came on twice. Breathing. My Beloved. Her mother’s nicotine.

I irked him. We didn’t talk, just texted. I felt his rancour. Has it been resolved? Possibly. He probably won’t pass any on anymore, will I mind? No. He is a nice man. I am just prickly. There is so little to go around. I’m sure that he feels the same way about me. My shoulders carry my dis-ease. Like pins, like knives.

I found some more money. A ten pound note this time. I was sorry for the person who dropped it. What should I do? Keep it. A boon, a prize, a gift. I feel looked after, looked-out for.

She replied. It is going to happen. I will see her, and her. My loves. My beloved.