She completely overwhelmed me. I hadn’t thought this would be the case. You don’t have to do all she says, he said to me as he left this morning. No, I know I don’t, but it was sensible advice. I know this. And I trusted her. But I get so stuck in my ways. I am so stuck in my ways that change is a stress in itself. All those things I am supposed to excise from my diet, good things. Spinach, grapefruit, sunflower seeds, yoghurt, cabbage – what will I replace them with? I could look on this as an adventure, a way of trying new foods but it unsettles me terribly. And there are all the other actions she wanted me to take like body brushing and wrapping a compress of castor oil around my liver and my darling, weakened, sorry little spleen. All good sense. All perfectly valid but where do I find the time? And she also wanted me to take a sleep at between 9-10 am. I need to breathe and approach all this calmly and methodically. One thing at time. The Bach Flower remedies I can do, and the other tincture and the drinking of 2 litres of water a day. That too. But the changing of all my skin and hair care products to non petrochemical ones, that’s going to be quite a shift. Let alone the expense. Bit by bit. Breathe. Keep breathing.
It’s my spleen she said and my small intestine. They are depleted, under par. I know this. They need some nurturing. So be it.
I feel unsettled, shifted. And my laptop needs some attention. He is coming tomorrow to help. Shoes off and licorice tea. A nice man. But I do struggle with strangers coming into my space.
I keep writing, sometimes it is all I can do.
We had a long discussion about Christian Scientists. He got heated. I tried to see both sides, and wound him up in the process. And I get it, some of it. We are not just a body, and our soul, our precious marvellous souls do get forgotten.
I send out feelers for work and nothing comes back. So be it. I am meant to be here writing. So take the chance and do it. You will feel better for the purging.
No rain this morning. And no barking dogs. Just wind and a majestic sea.