I haven’t long. There’s been too much to do this morning. Or at least I have set myself too much to do. Two loads of washing, ironing, washing the floors, vacuuming, shopping, changing the sheets and the dentist. We did fit in a coffee at Nero but even then I couldn’t wind down. And he was irritated by the crossword. They’re being too clever, he said. And that too gave me edginess. I’d chosen that crossword after all. Some days are like this. Do I just succumb to it? Let my heart race over nothing.
There are a group of Chinese students in the downstairs flat round the corner from ours and they’ve stuck various kinds of wrapping paper in the windows. Do they use curtains in China? The paper is shiny, metallic some of it, other pieces are floral. They have been stuck haphazardly. They are not Japanese, there is none of their finesse. They are smiley people though and friends with another Chinese family who live further along in a garden flat. They have a little boy who we saw crouching, his face concentrated. He was clearly having a poo and his mother whipped him away
I keep dreaming of eating out. Night after night. I am with different friends and acquaintances. I book tables, select restaurants. Sometimes I am late like last night. I speak to maître d’ hotels, waiters. I rarely actually eat, it is the meeting that is important and the selection of the place.
The wind was still furious this morning. I walked through the Buarth and then back through Llanbadarn. Rubbish dusted along the road. Bin bags lay in ditches, apocalypse-like.