I woke around 9.30 pm needing a pee and happened to look out of my bedroom window. It was still light and the sun had cast a sharp beam upon the piece of wasteland just beyond our block. It was a deep yellow that turned the greens of the grass, scrub and trees into a bright, brilliant lime. When I returned to bed the yellow had gone and the light returned to the dull grey of the coming night. Had it woken me? That light, that temporal glow?
I dreamt of an old friend from my MA days. We were outside on a stretch of tarmac. It was where she used to live and she was explaining where her garden used to be, in great detail. I struggled to follow her. It was gone and I couldn’t imagine how it had been. An earlier dream had involved living in a small, close space with lots of other people, young people. Were we on holiday together? The gist of it was that we all had to keep wearing the same clothes. And there was an irritation in that and the fact that we were packed so closely together. Pictures made from daily concerns. Silly, trivial concerns.
The sun is out this morning. The wind is sharp but there is more light than we’ve had for days. I appreciate it. The commission is on hold, perhaps cancelled. I am disappointed, it gave me a fillip when it was offered. Wait and see. Wait and see.
