It stresses him. It particularly stressed him yesterday. We all have our things – things that wind us up. For him it is the non-closing of the outer door of our shared hallway. It drives him to distraction. And we’ve tried everything, notes, signs – all very polite, all very seemly. I’ll just have to go and knock on their door, he threatens, convinced that he knows the culprit.
Yesterday was a ratty day. He was sharp and I was defensive. He says it might have been nerves about the Lions’ match. Who knows. It is allowed.
We watched videos of a friend’s son doing his gymnastics. He is in the Olympics, representing Norway. He was beautiful to watch. It took my breath and gave me goosepimples. My body yearned to do it too. Round and round the frame, flipping over and over, his body like rubber. A dancer, a ballet dancer in flight. Stunning.
There was a barely-fledged chick in the middle of North Road as I walked this morning. Oh, bless it, I heard myself say. It was still yet a ball of fluff and it was pecking at the newly-flattened carcass of another young gull, splattered across the tarmac. Needs must, I suppose but the cannibalism of it made my stomach turn. There is such an excess in this over-hatching of chicks. It is too much for this small town to contain. It’s a bit like the young kids who are beginning to return to their usual night time behaviour. I hear their shouts. A girl in shorts answering her mobile phone, her voice bored. Hello, yes, can you pick me up? Where am I? I’m at the bottom of the hill, you know the hill? And then the boy, later, walking along the prom, no swaying. and suddenly crying out, to someone or no one, Oi Oi, brother. And all the while some house alarm going off, a high keening.
It’s a disintegrating town. Or perhaps it is just the ‘going over’ of summer. Too much. Too much eating, drinking, sun and indolence. A down pipe on the side wall of the Scholar’s pub was dripping – drip, drip, the water staining the wall. A shabby town. I shan’t stay when he goes. The sea has grace and power but the rest is shabby.
