He ordered two one for her and one for himself. She was delighted with it. It was so good to see her. Her energy and sparkle are charming. She sat in that huge chair and talked and ate and let her tea go cold. I bombarded her with questions as usual and we both listened, loving just being there, with her, with them both. It was a day out, the first in a long long time and I was edgy at the start. A stepping-out of my oh so rigid routine is a challenge for me. We got there early, too early but we didn’t mind. We did crosswords, I drank tea, he coffee and when he left to go and collect her I drew. We sat downstairs on one of those lovely Scandinavian design sofas and I watched a fly flitting from cake to milk jug to edge of teacup while he read out the clues. Then she came and it was all about children, sisters, mummies (even in her late eighties she calls her mother ‘mummy’) and silver coal scuttles. (This threw us for a time – what could she mean? especially when she said she remembered it being on her grandfather’s table as a child – all became clear when she explained that it was a facsimile of one and functions as a sugar bowl, with the obligatory tongs. ) A lovely day but it tired me out. Why? The journey (4 hours) or that stepping-out into something new and un-prescribed, who knows?
I’ve made a start on the proposal – well, visually at least. And we talked about it in the car. I’m trying to make it real. Can I do it? I still ask.
