Paul Hogarth always tried to surprise himself with his drawing. And I realise that I do the same. I want to break out of my habitual methods of beginning, of the materials I choose to use and the places I opt to study. Always trying to get better, to draw, make or write something that feels as if it has come from somewhere or someone else. It takes energy and boldness and confidence – none of which I have much of, though some might question this. But I do have the drive to improve. I always have. Nevertheless, after a day of doing battle with my funding application (and all those little things that must be established and ironed out) my afternoon session of drawing was a lack lustre one. I ended it with a continual line drawing of a pristine red moped parked outside the Church Surgery. Perched on the end of a little wall I worked speedily, aware of but not really hearing all the chatter that walked or buzzed past me. Like the woman on the phone saying to someone, ‘ It’s the then and now that matters’. Or one of the gentle boys from Goa (with names like Shubert and Wellington) who we used to see in the Shilam when it was still a restaurant and not a fast food delivery outlet on the industrial estate, who rushed into the doctor’s leaving his little two-seater car double-parked and flashing. The last drawing made me late getting home. But then, climbing hill onto North Road I saw something I shall try to draw today and that felt better. To have a plan is good. Don’t you think?
Town was quiet this morning and the wind a mere nothing (Kettler’s was wrong, eh?). A gaggle of lads hung around on the corner of the street opposite The Pelican Bakery, shouting and throwing things. Just japes, no doubt. There was a girl in shorts. Then, walking down the Prom towards Terrace Road I heard the pulsing of music and loud voices. There was no one about, except a few lonesome stragglers. I saw a opened window in one of the terraces facing the sea. It was wide open and a throbbing yellow light came from it and a voice. It sounded disembodied. COME BACK! it implored. COME BACK TO US.
