Sometimes it just grips me. It is mostly nameless and formless. I feel it in my back first. It tightens in the muscles and holds my shoulderblades rigid. And then, its only then that I realise that I’ve been holding my breath and I have to consciously encourage my lungs to taken in air and let it out again. I am safe, I have everything I need and yet, I still yield to fear. I am ashamed. I know of others’ pain. I hear of it and know it. When I do know the fear, recognise it, it is mostly that of not feeling good enough. This too is a nonsense but it is deep-felt and deep-carried. So be it. I will accept myself and this being that I have formed. I do my best. I know this. Breathe now. In and out. Slow.
