It floors me. It reduced me to tears yesterday. I had had enough. I cannot get on to the system. I don’t understand what it is telling me to do. It is not my language. I feel kept out, alienated. He tells me it will be alright and that all I have to do is ask for help. Yes. I know this. But from whom? I know that it is a nonsense to get so upset. It is only a means to an end but it reminds me of my innate sense of incompetence and my even larger fear of being thought badly of by others. Can I do this? Am I big enough, brave enough? I don’t know. Please let me in so that I can do what I need to do. Please.
