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Agitation

Fear makes me scratchy, irritable, tetchy and generally cross. I can feel the frown on my face and it’s not a pretty sight. It’s usually something to do with work. Something I’ve yet to resolve. It’s an uncomfortable place to be in. And I take it out on him too often. He is forbearing, mostly. I just need to be here at my desk facing it, working through it. And all the other stuff makes me resentful – those domestic things that I want done but get in the way. They don’t of course, it’s just my mood that is imposing a grey, heavy kind of obligation onto them. Buck up, Ellen. Look outwards. Relish the intellectual puzzle of it. You will solve it. You always do.

By Ellen Bell

Artist and writer currently living in Aberystwyth.