I lay in bed last night and thought of them. The lost and the left behind. What do you do with all that grief? Can there be forgiveness? I wanted to hold, to make it peaceable, to ease the pain. I can do nothing but hold them in my thoughts. And in a place of worship too.

I was all of a dither yesterday, in bits. Somedays are like that, particularly on Sundays when I have to work away from home and my gentle flow. It’s OK. I will turn it to my advantage, think of ways of putting myself back together. There is nothing that will ever be finished. That shouldn’t be my goal. Just this going on till I go on no more. Let it be, I whisper to myself in the cold night air. Let it be and love. Just love. Nothing more.

A farmer’s wife and yet unmarried….


By Ellen Bell

Artist and writer currently living in Aberystwyth.