Drowning

He bumped into the husband of an old friend the other day. Well, it wasn’t really a case of bumping into. He’d seen him before and had avoided him but small town that this is there he was around another corner. Something had to be said, pleasantries shared. He told him of his sister in hospital with heart failure. She is full of water. He told him she was ‘drowning from the inside.’

We fight over it. No not fight but we are fractious. And both of us are scared. He of losing me and me of losing control of my body. Death is not a concern but incapacity is. Most of the time is it manageable but some days, like today I am made leaden with it. We must just wait and see and both be prepared to hear him then each other out.

But this morning it is about my knees. Will she help? My legs do not feel like my own. They talk of detachment. We are not just our bodies. They are frail. Our spirits are strong.