Sometimes I am full of it. It eats into my bones. It is often unnamed, faceless. But it takes me over nonetheless. I attach this nameless shadow to people who I’ve developed, an, often wholly undeserved, mistrust of. Presently it is certain academics who appear to be acting as gatekeepers blocking my path towards what I both want to do and what feels the right thing to do. Their language becomes harsh and unyielding. And I cannot like them. I know I am behaving as child would but my ambitions are frail, inchoate they need nurturing not cutting down before they have a chance to form.
