I don’t know what it is. It’s been hanging over my head, and weighing down my heart for some time now. Am I bored with myself and the life that I have made? Is that it? A need for change? But how can I implement this without disrupting the pleasure he seems to derive from this life of ours? It’s a crossness borne of fear. I don’t know what to do with myself, at least what I will do with myself when all this is over. It will be a caged sort of freedom, a freedom with constraints. I struggle with this disease – I know my blessings. I do.
