I know it is ridiculous but it is a symptom of my malaise. He is coming today and I don’t want him to. I don’t want a stranger in the house no matter the usefulness of his appearance. I just don’t want it. And consequently I build such an event into a major happening. It is not. I know this. But I do it nevertheless. He says that he is the same. Possibly, though to a lesser degree. Oh, let it be over soon.
