Toast and the smell of swimming pools

There is a small accumulation of mould on some of his bathroom tiles. It has been there since we moved in over 5 years ago. I spray it with a de-moulder and leave it soak in. The spray smells of swimming pools. It doesn’t work. I scrub away at it with a toothbrush, bought specifically for the purpose. It won’t shift. So be it. It will have to be another one of those flaws I must learn to accept and live with.

I made him toast for breakfast. I sometimes spread it with honey but he prefers jam. I love the smell of toasted bread. It lingers up there long after the grill has been turned off. I think I love it more that I no longer eat bread. Brown bread toasted is the best. It has a deeper aroma when grilled, the caramelising of the grains and sugars are more honey-ed more nutty. It smells of comfort, of home, of safety and familiarity. When he has gone from me I will no long smell it.

By Ellen Bell

Artist and writer currently living in Aberystwyth.