It’s the second time I’ve done in a week. I woke at the wrong time thinking it was the right time. I got up and got things ready for my bath, only to discover that I was wrong. Way out. I’d only been asleep for a couple of hours. It felt like a whole night. Such wrongness discombobulates me. Is that really the time, I kept asking him. Do you promise? The order had been upended. I am jarred, sharp-edged, wary. Is it all this death? There’s nothing new. There is always death, but I am looking at it hard in the face. The film rips the skin off me. It is so heartbreaking. They are lost. He is doing his best to save her but they are both drowning. In sorrow. In loss. Oh, god make it stop.
