The participants were all middle-aged and elderly women. I was either an observer or someone who was trying to make an art piece about one or all of them. Either way it was frustrating me. I wandered from desk to desk looking over their work. Some were doing landscapes, others still lives. I don’t know why I felt out of sorts. There were also a group of them sitting at a table. I woke then to the usual dark and the usual struggling to put my lowness in order. The rain was relentless this morning. I got drenched. I wore two coats, one on top of the other and was very very hot. It was a trudging sort of walk, my body and my head didn’t want to do it. A few cars were about, a doctor, the University warden and a couple of others. A man was out walking his dog. Otherwise I was alone. He won’t walk, it’s too wet. A head down get on with work day then. Fine.
We had a small falling out last night over money. I try to control him, and he, rightly enough, doesn’t like it. Why should he? I try to explain but it sounds ridiculous, as it is. He does understand and we reach a temporary impasse until the next time. Marriage is about finding a middle ground and listening. Is it not?