The night is pitch, a few stars and a wisp of clouds. At least there was no rain. Though don’t I really mind it. With my new coat I am kept dry and the spray on my face is sensual, pleasant even. But it was good to stride out in my other coat, my legs not held in. Did I tell you that there are straps inside my new coat to Velcro around your thighs? Is it for when you are on horseback perhaps? A smidgen of Christmas decorations about town, some are left on by mistake, others light up living rooms and student bedrooms. So early. Just advent. How I love advent. I will never forget that service at the Abbey. I was so moved, so grief-stricken. Will it ever go? Perhaps that is how it is to be. So be it. I can live it. I can carry it. Work now. An early one. The lead story, she told me. Then home to work and then the phone call. I don’t do well with phones and yet they feature so strongly in my working life. I am still dark. It is the winter, it is the time of life, it is me. Who knows? Live it. Live it well. Be dark. Be darker still.
